3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize