sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
