You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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