are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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