i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize