he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
