We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
