I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
