i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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