it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
