Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
