trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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