My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I forget how to act sober
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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