Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
