Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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