i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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