No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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