wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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