It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
