hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I need a burrito and a hug.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
