I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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