I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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