you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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