Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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