"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What happened to fro yo and sex?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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