Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just found puke in my bra..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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