glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
