Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
