Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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