thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
