don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
