oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
