ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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