she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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