You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
