I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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