So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
