We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
