so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
