those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
