I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
