i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
