I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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