I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Welp...herpes.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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