Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
