Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
