You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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