At least make sure they are 18
Why
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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