Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize