I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
