i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
