I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
