I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
