how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
