Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
