I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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