I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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