The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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